Are you going to eat that?
"Even if I'm not going to eat that last slice of cake, I'm leaving it on my plate to show that I may be large, but I am a woman of self control who doesn't need to scoff everything in sight," says Carla, 34, from Birmingham. "And if I can't eat it, I sure as hell don't want YOU to eat it, you skinny little no-nothing!"
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You're so lucky to have such great boobs
"Don't tell me I'm lucky to be curvy, or that I have amazing boobs, or worse still tell me how pretty my eyes are. I know you're really thinking 'thank God I'm not that fat,' so just say nothing," advises Rachel, 36, from Hayward's Heath.
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You looked SOOO great in your wedding dress
"I got our wedding photo album out the other week and while it was great to take a trip down memory lane, I wasn't prepared for my stick insect of a mother-in-law's quip of: 'Oh but you looked soooo great in your wedding dress.' The look on her face told me it wasn't a compliment." says Sarah, 36, from Machester.
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Darling, I can't feel my legs
Most of the time my boyfriend is great about me carrying a little extra weight since the twins, but he did upset me the other night when he said: 'Darling, I can't feel my legs.' We were having a cuddle, not an Olympic sex session, yet I still felt mortified!" says Debbie, 38, from Brighton.
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We don't have that in your size madam
"Thank the Lord for Internet shopping is all I can say! I used to dread going into clothes shops, only for some spotty (bone thin) 16-year-old to inform me they don't have my size. They don't even know what size I am, that's what amazes me. Needless to say, I never went been back to that shop again!" says Jayne, 39, from Buxton.
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Do you know how many calories are in that?
"I have an encyclopaedic knowledge of the calories in EVERYTHING. In fact, I could win MasterMind with my calorific knowledge, so I hate it when people ask: 'Do you know how many calories are in that?' If I'm tucking into a slice of chocolate cake, I obviously don't care, so why should anyone else?" says Pamela, 44, from London.
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Madam, this is an eat all you want not an 'eat all you can' buffet
"Amazingly, this did happen to a friend of mine - and in America of all places! She was pretty large at the time (16 stone) and was tucking in at some grill place or other. I can't remember what her response was, but I hope she got the waiter sacked," says Rosie, 55, from Yorkshire.
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Fancy joining the gym with me?
"I know my friends are only trying to be helpful, but the truth is, I hate gyms. You would never, and I mean NEVER, find me in the gym in cycling shorts with my boobs bouncing all over the place. Sweating is so undignified, especially in room full of skinnies and full length mirrors."
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You look well
What's the worst thing you can say to a fat woman? Nothing annoys me more than bumping into someone in town I haven't seen for a while and them saying: 'You look well.' It's a thinly disguised insult as far as I'm concerned, alluding to the fact I've piled on the pounds since I saw them last," says Amanda, 32, from Brighton.
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My sister just lost 6 stone
A (thin) friend of mine came round for a coffee yesterday and did nothing but talk about her sister having just lost six stone on some radical diet. I mean, I am pleased for her and everything, but really, I don't need to hear all about it."
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