Just can't get enough
Yes, we've got twelve pairs of red strappy heels and yes, to you, they might look all the same. But that never, ever means we don't need another pair.
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Work it out
With all those hot bodies squashed into one small space, it might look to you like the perfect hunting ground for totty. We however, HATE being chatted-up in the gym. Being approached when our hair is glued to our heads and we're collapsed in a stinking, sweaty mess, really doesn't put is in the mood for flirty repartee.
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Premeditated proposition
Awww, how lovely. You're thinking of getting down on one knee and popping the question? Well just make sure you think long and hard about the where and whens. If it's not as extraordinary as our BFF's or sister's was, we'll probably never quite forgive you. Yep, we even make proposals competitive.
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Gas gag
Some of us think farts are mildly amusing. We just don't seem to find them as unfailingly hilarious as you do. No amount of wafting or trumpety tune change will alter that so please, stop trying to make us guffaw with your grunts.
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Fashion conscious
We may have just whinged about our cellulite for two hours yet, when it comes to deciding on a dress for this evening, we pick a sequin mini. Why? Because fashion wins over insecurities. We haven't forgotten or got over our dimply flanks however, so don't think for a second that you can stop telling us how hot we look.
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Just looking
We know your eyes wander from time to time. You think it's perfectly natural to glance over ans smile at a pretty woman on the next table, it's instinctive to you and it means nothing. To us however, you're being disrespectful. Keep your eyes on your own prize boyo.
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Man movie vs. chick flick
You making us watch Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus is akin to us forcing you to watch Colin Firth as Mr Darcy emerge from a pond in a sopping wet shirt and breeches, on a loop for a month. Sea creatures fighting it out to the death for nearly two hours is as mind numbingly dull as it gets for us we're afraid guys.
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Waste not, want not
Our mothers taught us to be thrifty, saving leftovers to make bubble and squeak. Ok, we don't always get around to it but we do love Tupperware and some cling-film to store away our titbits. You'll never know the thrill of stackable boxes and as you never squirrel away your morsels properly, your fridge smells like an old sock.
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Cry baby
We like it when you share your feelings with us, express your emotions and generally drop the macho act. However, and you might feel this is fine line of distinction to draw, we don't want to see you bawling over Pet Rescue or after a particularly good bedroom sesh. It's just a wee bit pathetic and creepy dude.
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Pillow fight
Your reasoning that we're just going to get back in it and it's going to get messy again anyway, really doesn't wash. Just make the damn bed. We like it that way and that's all there is to it.
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