The cliché: I know how to treat a lady
The reality: Clearly I don't know how to treat a lady, or I wouldn't be here; however I am keen to work on it.
The cliché: I love lazy Sundays reading the papers
The reality: I have no mates and often spend Sundays alone reading the papers, however I'd welcome some company.
The cliché: I enjoy long moonlit walks on the beach
The reality: I haven't yet faced up to the fact that successful dating has more to do with whether you can get around Sainsbury's without having a blazing row than whether we both enjoy moonlit beach strolls.
The cliché: I love holding hands on country walks
The reality: I've been single for so long I'm desperate to hold someone's hand in public and shout 'I have a boy/girl friend!'
The cliché: I love snuggling in with a DVD and a bottle of wine
The reality: I'm a closet alcoholic and can't imagine staying in with out a large glass of vino.
The cliché: I adore thunderstorms
The reality: I'm a bit of a goth and fantasize about Kate Bush's Wuthering Heights video.
The cliché: I don't have a 'type'
The reality: I'm aware I'm not very attractive and my chances of finding a partner are slim so I'm not prepared to limit myself in any way. Basically, I'm desperate and will shag anyone.
The cliché: I love the outdoors
The reality: I have no hobbies whatsoever.
The cliché: I'm really spontaneous
The reality: I'm unpredictable and messed up.
The cliché: I'm just testing the water...
The reality: I've been trying to get a date for years, but if I told you that you'd think I was a total no-hoper.