She might have made one great - and really stupid - record, but it's Ke$ha's generally brainless demeanour that gets on our t*ts. And the $ of course, we just know that's not what it says on her birth certificate!
Is there a more smug man on British TV than Adrian Chiles? We might start watching The One Show when he's hopped it off to ITV with his increasingly unconvincing "ordinary bloke" schtick.
We probably don't need to explain why we've included Sharon Osbourne, but we're going to anyway. It's because she thought just being nasty was enough, without realising that Simon Cowell is funny and charming at the same time. Two words we'll never use about Shazza.
Ooh, controversial! Saying anything bad about Ant and Dec is a bit like insulting the Queen Mum, but we won't let that stop us. We just don't understand why this painfully unfunny pair of mugging goons are the nation's favourite entertainers - rather than only working in panto season.
The X Factor is all about the story of the humble singer who learns to believe in herself and gets a fairytale ending. Except when Alexandra won she made a Burke of herself by grizzling with Beyoncé and then seemed to instantly assume a diva attitude that didn't really seem warranted.
Now to the Geldof girls, and there's just so much to dislike about Pixie and Peaches: The spurious job titles (model, hotel ambassador, writer), the dodgy men (Eli Roth, Noel Fielding, that internet bloke) and the Scientology will do for starters. Poor Sir Bob must be tearing his hair out!
John Mayer wasn't very well known in the UK until he started dating Jennifer Aniston and then dumped her. We still couldn't name one of his songs, but there are a few famous women he seems to have rubbed up the wrong way.
When she's not nagging us about our diet or poking about in our poo, Gillian McKeith is pretending to be a doctor to sell her books and dodgy pills. One dose of this awful harridan could be enough to put anyone off healthy eating for life!
OK, we know a lot of people seem to love Ricky Gervais, but you have to admit that Extras wasn't very funny and that his stand-up routines got a bit samey after the second one. At first we thought the cockiness was his "thing", now we're not so sure...
Candy to write, her idea to include
