Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil:
Gossip-mongers are predicting that Amy and Blake are going to have the most acrimonious split of 2009, with the thirsty soul diva said to be determined to ensure that her jailbird hubby won't see a measure of her estimated £10 million fortune. But will it be as strung-out and accusatory as some of these other celebrity break-ups?
Paul McCartney and Heather Mills:
It was possibly the highest-profile divorce of all time, and since the settlement both parties have remained reasonably tight-lipped. But, during the court hearing, Heather accused her hubby of being a drunk who'd stabbed her with a broken wine glass, and that whopping £24 million pay-out can't have left Macca wanting to hold her hand.
Noel Gallagher and Meg Matthews:
Few people had more sympathy for Macca during his divorce than his monobrowed Oasis bum-kisser Noel Gallagher. "I know what he goes through, man, getting divorced, and your f**king soon-to-be ex-wife is just being a f**king absolute lunatic", he said. "I've been there."
Chris and Ingrid Tarrant:
The red-tops whipped themselves into a super-frenzy when it was alleged that Chris Tarrant had been going 50/50 in his marital duties with another woman. His wife, Ingrid, had much to say on the matter, immediately pronouncing that the mugging quiz host was a "flop" in bed, had no interest in sex and reeked of fish. Makes you wonder why he played away, doesn't it?
Madonna and Guy Ritchie:
"There are lots of things about England that I love," sniffed the Grand High Witch of Pop following her divorce, "but my husband isn't one of them." Guy responded by declaring that their bedroom antics were akin to "cuddling up to a piece of gristle." And even his dad got involved, expressing his delight that Madonna had "lots of boyfriends" because it meant "she won't be looking for him". Miaow!
Britney Spears and Kevin Federline:
Britters reportedly called K-Fed the biggest mistake she ever made. And, oh brother, it's not as though she doesn't have plenty to choose from. Anyway, there's no doubt that he was the most expensive of her errors, having sent him packing with a bumper pay day of $13 million. "Gimme more!", K-Fed possibly implored.
John Cleese and Alyce Faye Eichelberger:
What do you do when your ex-Python becomes your ex-husband? Well, if you're Alyce Faye Eichelberger then you'll demand an astonishing $75,000 a month in alimony. Eventually, Cleese agreed to pay the bank-breaking amount, telling news channels in a precision display of bad temper that "it would be worth every penny".
Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards: Although they divorced four years ago, this gruesome twosome continue to dish out allegation after accusation after slur in a bid to score points during their ongoing custody battle. As an example, when Charlie claimed that Denise wanted his sperm so she could have more kids, Denise replied that his claim was ridiculous and she didn't want any more of his "prostitute tranny-infested sperm". How lovely.
Liza Minnelli and David Gest: The batty Broadway icon married the melty-faced media mogul in 2002, but it was only a year before David was collecting his Judy Garland memorabilia in bin bags and trying to sue Liza to the tune of $10 million. He claimed she had been violent and given him the clap; she asserted that he had tried to poison her. The mind boggles. Just like David's eyes.